yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The power of my boobs compel you
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
