Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
