It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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