I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
