I am in a vortex of obligation.
Michael Bay diarrhea
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
