Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
try to milk me bitch
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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