Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
