Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so let's talk penis.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
