We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Come on in and take your pants off
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