& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
