dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
