You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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