You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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