I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
