it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
