So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
