Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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