Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
