its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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