i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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