It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
