C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
