uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
