Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
