i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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