Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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