so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
