I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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