so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
home. puking in laundry basket.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
