Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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