Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
