Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
