Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this boner is exhausting
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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