Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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