you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
