I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
