tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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