We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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