having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
