# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
