Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
