I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
dude. I can hear the air.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
