if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
