i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
