I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
