my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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