i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
