You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
