Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
