we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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