my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
