if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
